The Tee Times
Ramblings From The President
The 2013 season is upon us, though it doesn’t look like spring yet. It was 6 (count them, six) degrees this morning and we are expecting 8 inches of snow tonight. Just thought I’d share the weather report with those of us who spend the winter months a bit closer to the equator.
Despite Mother Nature, Kenny and Larry Frazee have been working on the equipment, prepping it for the season. The course itself made it through the season without injury. We could use a few volunteers for various start up tasks. Please give me a call if you can help: 652-9123. Thanks.
Kees and Yo helped monitor the e-mails again this winter. As always, they are a great help to the club…A special thanks goes out to them.
The final touches are being completed on the deck rebuild project. It is turning out great and within budget. For all of you who helped contribute by participating in the fund raiser tournament…I owe you a beverage (on the new deck).
Well, I have to put another log on the fire, but hope to see you out there soon.
Tom Bartodziej
Turf Talk
By the time you read this, play will have already started. One of the first things you have noticed is that some trees around the 6th green have been removed, opening the green to the sunlight. Hopefully the area will not be as wet this year.
Kenny Cole and his crew did a lot of clean-up work around the course after hurricane Sandy. Debris was removed and a number of dead trees were cut down. All this work, along with minimal winter damage has kept the golf course in pretty good shape for the start of the 2013 season.
Although Kenny checked the course periodically during the winter, he didn’t officially start work until March 25th, when water lines were charged and the club house was opened up.
One of the things the grounds crew will be doing during the Spring is to replace some of the watering heads around the course and checking for damaged water lines.
Once the course is up and running Kenny and the Board will make an assessment of the needs of the club and decide what improvements can be made.
Til' Next Time...
2013 Membership Application -- Click Here
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First Hole In One for Charlie Palm!!

Charlie Palm was in a celebrating mood this winter after scoring his first a hole-in-one. Charlie aced the 100 yard, par 3 at his winter home course in Haines City, Florida.
Charlie’s celebration continued when he and his wife, Cora, became grandparents for the first time in March. Congratulations on both counts!!
2013 Stamford Golf Club Calendar -- Click Here
SWGA Meeting
The Stamford Women’s Golf Association (SWGA) will have its first meeting on May 25th at the golf course. The meeting will start at 9:15 AM. Hopefully, it will be a good day for golf, so don’t forget to bring your clubs!
Ladies Golf League
The Ladies Golf League will kick off the season on May 28th at 4:40 PM. There will be a brief meeting to discuss the upcoming season prior to playing golf. All those interested in playing in the ladies league should attend the meeting. If you have any question please call Sherry Bianco at 607-538-1163.
A Florida resident for 13 years now, a great golfer, and dear friend... Nancy Hamm! We played 18 at Burnt Store Marina Golf course and didn't stop talking till her car pulled out of the parking lot. Just like it was yesterday, but with lots of updates to share. Regards to all our old friends in Stamford. ~~ Lucy Jessen
Things to Think About
- If you want to see a bad shot – look up early.
- Don’t buy a putter until you get a chance to throw it.
- Every time you make a birdie you subsequently make two triple bogies to get your game back on track.
- Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly – and the golfer lies well.
- A gimme is best defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt well.
Wedding Day
John took a few practice swings with his driver on the first tee box, when a young woman wearing a wedding gown came running up to him crying. Without saying a word, she slapped him hard in the face, turned and ran away.
John turned to his playing partner and calmly said: "I don't know what her problem is. I distinctly told her only if it rains."
Spring Golf Tips
For many of us the last time we took a real golf swing with a real club was last Fall. The imaginary swings we made in our living rooms during the winter don’t count. The beginning of the 2013 golf season is upon us and now is the time to get ready.
Take out your clubs and give them a good cleaning. Check the grips for wear and tear and replace them if needed. I read somewhere that worn grips can cause you to swing poorly. I’m aware of my poor swing and quite frankly, it’s not the grips. But, if it will help me hit the ball better, then I will put some new ones on.
Take your golf shoes out of the trunk of your car, out of the garage or where ever you stored them for the winter and inspect them. If they smell like dirty socks, it may be time to consider buying a new pair. If they are still in good shape, give them a good cleaning and put on some shoe polish. Put on a new set of spikes if needed.
If you’re like the average person, you have had a tad bit less exercise during the winter than during the rest of the year and you may have lost some flexibility. If the only time you can touch your toes is when you are sitting down, it might be a good time to start doing some hamstring stretches. A stretching program that targets your shoulders, hips and back will help prevent injury later on. One thing you don’t want to happen is to have the paramedics take you off the golf course when you where having the best round of your life.
The winter weather is gone. You’ve gotten your equipment in shape and you’ve gotten your body in shape. Well, maybe your body isn’t quite in shape, but at least you have more flexibility. Now, it’s time to hit the course. One last piece of advice. For the first few rounds leave the scorecard in the pro shop. Don’t count your strokes. You know that the first few times out that you are going to stink the course up, so why put pressure on yourself. Work on your ball striking and on your short game. Don’t feel encumbered to keep score.
Hit 'em long... Hit 'em straight... Keep 'em in the fairway.


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The Rules Guru
Mighty Casey is at the plate waiting for the pitch. The count is 3 and 2, bases loaded. The pitch is on the way. Casey has his eye on the ball, ready to send it over the centerfield fence. The crowd is going crazy as Casey digs in and takes a big swing. The play-by-play announcer screams into the microphone, “It’s a swing - and a miss!” Game over. A swing and a miss in baseball is always a strike.
In golf, a swing and a miss isn’t always a stroke. A stroke is the forward movement of the club with the intent of hitting the ball. The key word is “intent”
You’re on the first tee and you try to stop your swing, but you accidently hit the ball and send it 20 feet to your left. Is it considered a stroke or do you get a do over? The rules say it’s a stroke and you must play it as it lies.
Now, you’re back on the first tee and before hitting your drive you take a practice swing, accidently moving the ball. Stroke or no stroke? Because your intent was a practice swing it is not considered a stroke and you may retrieve the ball, tee it up, and try again. However, you must take a one stroke penalty.
You’re in the fairway and have lined up your next shot. You take your swing and the ball comes off the club face, sails 15 yards into a tree, sending the ball back in your direction and hits your club again. If you play with some of the men I play with this isn’t such a far-fetched scenario. How do you score it? The rules say it’s a stroke and a one stroke penalty. You also score a stroke and a penalty stroke if you hit the ball twice during the same swing.
You’re attempting to hit an approach shot to the 15th green when your club breaks during your backswing and you continue your downswing. Stroke or no stroke? The envelope please – it’s not a stroke. If your club breaks on the downswing, believe it or not, it’s a stroke - whether you hit the ball or not. I know, I know. It’s not fair. No one said golf rules were fair. You can always try baseball.
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Snow Birds -- Members of the Stamford Golf Club met in Florida to enjoy each other's company. From left to right: Walter & Judy Kramer, Tony Michalowski & Helen Gorlach, Sherry & Hubie Bianco and Joyce & Randy Jaret.
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Top 10 Golf Caddy Jokes
Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?
Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on
this course.
Caddy: Try heaven, you've already moved most of the
earth.
Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
Caddy: Eventually.
Golfer: You've got to be the worst caddy in the
world.
Caddy: I don't think so sir. That would be too much of
a coincidence.
Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the
time. It's too much of a distraction.
Caddy: It's not a watch - it's a compass.
Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.
Golfer: Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day.
Golfer: This is the worst course I've ever played
on.
Caddy: This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour
ago.
Golfer: That can't be my ball, it's too old.
Caddy: It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.
Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.
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